lunar goddess (bluemoonxtc) wrote,
lunar goddess
bluemoonxtc

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...a friend with weed is better

Lately, I've been feeling really down. As much as I like being in a new place, up here in Port St. Lucie, I really miss living in a city with interesting things to do. I really miss my friends in WPB, I miss my old job at the Library.I hate feeling stuck. I hate feeling as though I have to walk around being less of myself. It is almost like I have too much spirit, too much energy for this place.I spend most of my time by myself, walking, listening to music, reading, exercising for hours a day; just to have something to do. Don't get me wrong I love walking, reading, music, etc, but I want to meet people, I want to go out and have fun. I thought moving up here would allow me to have a fresh and new start, to remove myself from the cocoon of fear and self doubt. It is not what I thought/hoped it would be for me, however, I know in my heart that I didn't make a mistake by coming up here. I needed a change. I was burnt out on my mundane routine. I just feel like a fish out of water. I'm thinking about getting a second job, so that I have something else to do. So that I will not have too much time on my hands to sit around and drown myself in self pity as I am now.

I fucking Hate these rants, but it is necessary to vent.

-saiida-
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